Free Pass, I Guess

Today I learned about something that is completely freaking me out. That thing is "ovarian torsion."

I DO NOT currently have ovarian torsion, nor am I at a super-high risk for getting it.

What's ovarian torsion, you ask?

Oh, it's when your ovary twists on itself. Like inside you. Twists. Requires emergency surgery. Can result in losing your ovary if not treated immediately.

This ovarian torsion business came up in conversation today, because both my doctor and I agree that the reason my medicine made my body go crazy this past cycle is because my body is healthier because I've been working out on a regular schedule for a prolonged amount of time. I'm healthier on a cellular level.

That makes me giggle. I don't know why.

Anyway, if I continue to work out, I won't need as much meds, because my body's working better with lower doses. Good thing...wish we would have thought about it before last week.

During the workout talk I mention that "I've blown it though" because I didn't work out all last week, because I felt to sick. My doctor said, "Good thing. You need to not work out for at least another week. Your ovaries are still so swollen that you're not at high risk, but you at at risk for ovarian torsion. You need to take it easy on all physical activities. Keep jumping to a minimum."

Jumping...to a minimum...I have big boobs. No prob.

And then I asked what ovarian torsion is.

And then about 45 seconds after she told me what it is, she received a call on her "red" phone because one of her patients had just called in with an ovarian torsion and she needed to go into emergency surgery.

I will not work out for at least a week.
I will not work out for at least a week.
I will not work out for at least a week.

On the personal front, the ovaries are super swollen and I'm still super fertile. I'm going on birth control for a month and I'm gonna pray that these ladies simmer down on their own. We can't try again until they go back to normal. That will take at least one month.

Bloodletting

Got my period today, which in my book, is a great thing. I literally feel better with every drop of blood that leaves my body. That's not an overstatement.

I talk to my doc tomorrow. I'm interested in what's she's going to say.

I hope all my damn follicles are going back to normal. If they don't they're called "cysts" and you have to wait at least one full cycle until they go back to normal and you can try again.

Ultimately though, I'm just so happy that I feel normal again. You know you're really ill when you feel "great" when you get your period.

Don't Touch My Belly

I'm feeling a load better today -- which means I still feel like crap, but I'm not on the verge of puking. I might even eat something...I should eat something. I need to take advantage of my current, doctor prescribed, menu: salty foods. "Whatever salty that you can keep down."

I know I genuinely don't feel well, because I had to force-feed myself french fries last night. Six was all I could get down and I was really trying.

The big development for today is that my abdominal area is very sensitive. Which means that both V and Atari have already jumped on me multiple times. Hurts. So. Bad.

I'm glad I'm starting to feel better, I just wish that being a responsible individual felt better too. It's annoying to think that I most likely would have been pregnant this month...but at what cost?

I know I made the right decision, I'm just not looking forward to yet another month of sticking needles in my stomach.

God Bless Birth Control

I still feel like complete crap and my pants still don't fit, but I'm not about to fully keel over on the floor anymore. Hooray. I guess.

I could be sad that I've formally cancelled this month's cycle, but I'm just happy that I'm starting to feel better.

I'm proud of myself for making the responsible decision. There was a high likelihood that even through "natural" methods, we would have gotten pregnant this month. The issue is that if we were to get pregnant today, we would be looking at up to thirty kids (more on that at the bottom).

Extreme multiple prego is not gonna happen for us -- we would not allow it to...and that's a tough decision to have to make. I say I'm comfortable with "selective reduction," but I'm really glad I've never had to make the decision to reduce.

Back to my well-deserved whining.

Guess what? Hyper-stimulated ovaries are really painful. What are the actual "things that feel bad?"

• Extreme nausea - which, I still have.


• Extreme fatigue - of course, one should expect their body to be really tired when it's trying to release in one month what takes a normal woman nearly three years to do.


• Hot flashes - Flashes my doctor said are very similar to menopausal flashes. Um, I don't want to go through menopause.


• Abdominal swelling - Fluid builds up in your pelvis and if it gets bad enough, they have to do a "pelvic tap." I was borderline needing a tap this morning.


• Dehydration - I cannot get enough water into my body.


• Restlessness/inability to sleep.


• Headaches.

So basically, it's a self-induced party of awesomeness. Oh and those pains you get during ovulation...those pains x's thirty...cause I had thirty fully developed follicles when I was scanned this morning.

Too Sick For a Full Update

My ovaries are badly hyper-stimulated. It's making me incredibly ill. I just made the decision to cancel my cycle and I sealed the deal by taking a birth control pill. Apparently birth control pills are the fastest way to get my body back to normal.

I feel like I'm swelling as I type this. I put on pants this morning. My abdomen is now so swollen they won't fit.

I'm miserable.

Booyah Octo-Mom

This morning I found out that if I was bat-shit crazy, I could potentially beat the Octo-Mom in her quest to carry an obscene amount of children.

No, I'm not currently pregnant. I found out that the reason I've felt like complete shit and I'm tired as hell is because my body has "hyper-produced" a crap-load of follicles this month.

NOTE: This is the phrasing that is used. Follicles are not actually created each cycle, follicles grow bigger each cycle -- indicating how many eggs will be released.

QUESTION: How many is a "crap-load"?

ANSWER: At least twelve. I say "at least" twelve, because I'm not sure how many it was. A lot.

On my "cycle tracking sheet" there are six areas where they can document follicle development. Six areas per ovary. Two ovaries x six areas = twelve follicles. I know that it was way more than twelve though, because every box had at least two follicles listed in it.

Here's what I mean. Here's what a standard month looks like:

Right Ovary
1 - 16 mm
1 - 14 mm -- meaning I have a follicle at 14 mm (18 - 22 is mature or ready to lay an egg).

Today's report looked something like this:

Right Ovary
2 - 16 mm
3 - 14 mm
3 - 13 mm
...

Yeah, that's a lot of eggs.

So, I had to have this conversation with the nurse:

NURSE: "I think the doctor is going to recommend cancelling your cycle or only going with intercourse. I don't think she's going to want to do an IUI. Are you comfortable with this?"

ME: "No. I want to move forward with an IUI."

NURSE: "Have we talked to you about "selective reduction?"

NOTE: Selective reduction = If you get prego with a ton of babies, they go in with a needle and selectively reduce the number of babies. I don't care what your pro-life/anti-life opinion is. I'm not gonna have a litter of kids. You're welcome to make your own decision for yourself.

ME: "Yeah. I'm totally comfortable with selective reduction. Let's move forward. You can have it in writing that I'm not moving forward in being prego with more than two kids."

NURSE: "Well, OK. We'll see what the doctor says."

Hot Flashes

One of the things they don't tell you about having a baby is that after you have the baby you'll probably have hot flashes and night sweats as the hormones exit your system.

Well...as I'm finding out this week, you also have hot flashes and night sweats when the hormones enter your system.

It's a good thing, it means my meds are working -- but goddamn if I'm not sick of sweating/freezing/sweating/freezing...

Results at doc's appt were very good. I have three follicles that are already growing (typically don't see growth until day 10ish of the cycle -- I'm currently on day six). My estrogen level (see aforementioned sweating) is busting through the roof (also good).

So, aside from the goddamn sweating, really good news.

I'm So Dizzy

Going into the doc in the morning. Need to make sure everything is OK. I can't tell if I'm getting sick or if my medicine is making me a dizzy disaster. Either option sucks.

So nauseous. So dizzy. So pissy.

I better see some GD folicle growth in the morning.

Back in the Saddle

Started shots on Monday. Accidentally pierced something wrong when I gave myself a shot tonight. Now my fat roll (where I give myself my shots) hurts like a mother.

Oh and my medicine is making me really dizzy this round. My hormones have been extra crazy -- poor, poor D.

So basically, it's a party already...on day five (of 28) of my cycle.

Oh and everyday at least one person asks when we're gonna have another kid. I honest-to-God do not understand how people don't think that question is rude. The closer we get to V's second birthday, the more frequent the question comes.

Since the goal of this blog is to be completely honest with the process, I'll tell you that I want to punch people in the face when they ask. So, if you're reading this and you've asked, I want to punch you in the face. Leave me alone.