Anxious

I'm so anxious for today's appointment. I've been up since 5 AM and there's no chance I'm going back to sleep before I go to the doctor. Is it 10:30 yet?

Bad Idea: Hotel for Dogs

Once again, I stupidly decided to watch the in-flight movie while I have pregnancy hormones surging through my body. Last night, the people around me on the flight had the privilege of hearing me sob while watching "Hotel for Dogs."

We get off the flight and I tell Dave, "I can't believe how much I was sobbing at that movie."

He says, "Yeah, I was wondering why you were crying so much. It really wasn't that sad."

"Some of those were tears of joy, damn it."

Anyway, the movie was surprisingly good.

Gardening

In an effort to prove to myself that I don't have to scared shitless every moment of my pregnancy, I did a little gardening this afternoon. Well, I didn't want to have actual contact with the soil, so I pruned lots of plants...but that counts.

BTW, it is recommended that you should not have contact with soil while you're pregnant.

Tight Pants and Retards

At five weeks, three days, my pants are tight. My underwear are totally uncomfortable. I'm switching to maternity underwear in the morning. Hooray.

I called the doctor to make my first OB appointment today -- to clarify, non-fertility OB, OB appointment. I stay with my fertility doctor until 8 - 10 weeks.

When I called I was informed that my doctor's really backed up and they can't get me in until September. WHOA NELLY -- We already have wait times like this to see doctors and people want to socialize medicine.

That's re-tar-ded.

I honest-to-God think that people who think socialized medicine is a good idea might be retarded. That or they just refuse to learn anything about medical care.

In the case that they are retarded, I would be happy to pay for their medical care, because they can't learn to know any better.

Anyway, I told them that was unacceptable (because this is not fucking Canada) and now I magically have an appointment the week of August 10.

On a completely related note, I'm thinking about switching doctors.

As a fertility patient, you get really spoiled with good health care. See, when the majority of what you're paying is out of pocket, you get much better service. Then you move on over to the HMO/PPO and it's shit.

I have first hand experience that more regulation = much crappier...but don't trust me and my first hand experience. Trust what the media and your political puppets tell you, retards.

The Mock-tail

Had my first mock-tail tonight. It was hard to order a mocktail without drawing attention to myself. When I said I wanted "a mocktail -- like whatever you can make fastest that looks like it has alcohol in it, but doesn't, that's what I want," I confused the crap out of the bartender.

Mocktail should be a fairly well-known term in the bar industry.

Whatever.

Then the bartender starting asking me why I wanted a mocktail. How's about it's none of your Goddamn business. What if I was an alcoholic?

Anyway, I did, eventually, get my mocktail without anyone noticing. Happy hour with the team. Success.

Bad Idea

As I just told my friend Rebecca, it's a bad idea for a woman with new prego hormones infiltrating her system to watch "BabyStory" while flying.

1. They blur out most of the "business," but you (and the person sitting next to you/behind you) can still see what's going on.

2. Sobbing in front of strangers who are trapped on a plane with you is uncomfortable. For them.

Travel While Prego

I forgot how much more I hate leaving home/Dave when I'm pregnant. As I head to the airport, it's all coming back.

Back Pains and Big Sis

I'm still extremely nervous. I've been having the same back pains I had with my first miscarriage. Not much I can do about it though, so I'm trying to focus on the positive.

Tonight I asked V if she'd like a little sister or a little brother. Sister was the resounding answer. When asked if she would love her baby sister, she screamed, "NO!"

Great.

Due Date: March 19, 2010

My results came back much better than expected and I'm still officially pregnant. I'm not going to believe it though, until we see a heartbeat(s) on July 31.

Beyond Frustration

I just got a call from my doctor's office. My pregnancy test came back with some discrepancies. I go in for another test tomorrow.

No words...no fucking words.

Holy Crap

I'm pregnant.

I'm scared that it's multiples though. Happy either way, but scared. We'll find out soon enough.

Oh my God...I'm pregnant! Like a pregnancy test that I didn't screw up and didn't get me a "sort of" pregnant. PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT.

I had one more pregnancy test left (before I went to buy a whole new slew of tests) and I decided to take it when I realized that I was insisting that Dave go to bed with me at 9:37 PM. That and I've been nauseous as hell all day long...and I wanted brownies so badly, I got off my ass and baked some, at 8:30 PM.

The Past 24 Hours

I've developed:

- The worst heartburn. Ever.
- A weird taste in my mouth and it won't go away.
- An acute sense of smell...car wash. Blech.
- Lots of nausea and loss of appetite.
- Tiredness. Lots of it.

This is going to be a big let-down if I'm not PG.

Alex, the Pregnancy Jinx

I'm writing this, hoping my friend, Alex, reads it in the future.

My friend Alex is a pain-in-the-ass...and I'm so superstitious (which is ridiculous, I realize), I hope her pain-in-the-ass-ness jinxes us into being pregnant.

When I got pregnant with Violet, she was the first person to straight up ask us when we were going to try for kids. We had just found out that we were pregnant, so we very awkwardly answered her question.

This week she asked me when we're going to try again. When I gave her another weird answer, she asked if I was pregnant.

I hope this girl is a jinx. I hope I am pregnant.

We had our IUI on June 27. Now we wait.

I'm impatient, so I've already taken two pregnancy tests. One on Friday (which was way too early). It was negative.

I took another one today...and apparently I'm an idiot, because I made the digital test malfunction. Say what? Yeah...